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Questing for a Soul Mate: It’s tough work

We recently found this article, “Seven Amazing Steps to Finding Your Soulmate,” by Ida Home. Here are some of the excerpts and, naturally, our comments–

1. The first you have to do is being honest with yourself, knowing who you are and what you are about. This issue tightly depends on your selfesteem, so work it out at this instant, always keep in mind a good image of yourself, this is the essence of being ready for your love!

2. Remember that unless you are ready to meet the love of your life, it won’t come for you, because everything depends on how much you want it to happen. Wise men say that when you really want something, the whole Universe rearanges itself for making your wish come true.

3. After you take a good look at yourself, hear what Mother Nature whispers in your ear about looking for someone of certain looks and physical features that suits you best. Did you know that soulmates almost look like one another? That soulmates may be so very different in appearance but still so alike?

4. I can hear some of you saying that things are as difficult as easy they seem to be, because matching is a complex scenario… Concentrate on the solution of the matter not on the issue itself, do your part of the job faithfully and do not worry.

5. Obviously that none of us wants to become haunted, obsessed by an ideal of love that never shows up, right? That’s why you have to cut the belt, free your mind of your desire (which has already put to work the invisible engines of the Universe, believe it or not !) and do your usual stuff.

6. And here comes the tough part: waiting! Wait for a while and let the Nature action for how long as it takes. Take into account that you have already helped Nature with your faith and your strong action.

7. Finally , let me share a secret with you: don’t to tell anyone you are about to meet your soulmate. The deepest desires must not be shared until they come true.

It seems anymore that nothing is left to chance. There has to be a rule and guide for everything. Even the mysterious forces of fate and circumstances, have to be hooked up to guidlines that if practiced should lead to success. No they won’t. Because much of finding your soul mate is not a matter for game theory, but a game of charm, chance and, frankly, luck. I don’t blame the author for developing these guidlines, because in this day and age the need for instant gratification is inversely proportional to the understanding of timing and patience.

My experience with soul mates is that most met by accident. It was more a matter of surprise than cosmic recognition they had found the one, at last. They never expected the universe to rearrange itself to accomodate their quest for somebody to love. The universe, instead, presented somebody to love and gave them a choice–love them or let the opportunity slip on by. The universe is strange that way. It is better to go with its flow than try to engineer it. As for these soul mates looking like each other–sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. In the overall, people look more like their dogs than they look like their mates. From the get-go people are attracted to dogs that look like them. People are not always attracted to mates that bear their resemblance. It’s rare that a homely somebody deliberately chases a homely somebody else. Sometime we just amortize the overall package and take the good with the not so good. Yes, of course their is chemistry between compatible people. And it is a fact that couples pick up the traits and mannerisms of one another, but that is over time. But that doesn’t make you soul mates, necessarily. If you are picking up your mate’s habits, that may be accountable to anything from a weak personality to a bad case of the “cutesies.” It can be fetching, or it may be repugnant, depending on the habits you adopt. Then again, if you are picking up you dog’s traits, you shouldn’t be out in polite society.

The author is correct in suggesting you become neither haunted nor obsessed and you keep to yourself the fact that you are preparing to meet your soul mate. I don’t think these suggestions will enchance your chances of finding your soul mate, but they will keep people from viewing you as one more nut job. And if you do chance to meet someone who actually finds you interesting, you don’t want to screw it up by talking soul mates when they are thinking more on the lines of dinner and a movie.

It is always good to remember that some people, in fact a whole bunch of them, don’t even believe in soul mates. Some are less prone to believe their current romance is less fated by the cosmos than it was mandated by certain obsessions and a head full of demons. Many would meet the man or woman of their dreams and still want to check them out. There are more than a few people who rather than quest for a soul mate just want somebody with whom they get along. They just want someone they can talk to, go out with, have sex with, even if it is not for eternity but to get them through the night. More often than not, that is good enough.

By Gordon Basichis

Gordon Basichis is the Co-Founder of Corra Group, specializing in pre-employment background checks and corporate research. He has been a marketing and media executive and has worked in the entertainment industry, the financial, health care and technology sectors. He is the author of the best selling Beautiful Bad Girl, The Vicki Morgan Story, a non-fiction novel that helped define exotic sexuality in the late twentieth century. He is the author of the Constant Travellers and has recently completed a new book, The Guys Who Spied for China, dealing with Chinese Espionage in the United States. He has been a journalist for several newspapers and is a screenwriter and producer.